Oink Oink Oink

This little piggy went to market.

This little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy had roast beef,

This little piggy had none.

And this little piggy cried "Wee! Wee! Wee!" all the way home.

Ring-a-ding

What a treat! The one legged fiddler has just received a promotional version of the new state of the art Pomegranite phone. BE JEALOUS.

It has everything: coffee brewer, harmonica, electric razor, real time voice translator.
Awesome.

Check it out at:
http://www.pomegranatephone.com/

Caution: a little pee may come out upon viewing.

Ladies and Gentleman!!

PUT ON YOUR GOOD PANTS!!  Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about.  I know you've been saving them, but its time!  The hour has come, the clock has dung, the fat lady has sung!  So get up.  Stand up.  I am urging you from my very deepest urging place!  Thrust your foot into that deep denim gorge.  Go on.  It's a step of faith, I know!  But you can do it, and we're here to help, we've brought a belt.

You've done it!!  Oh the magnanimosity!  Happy Day, Happy Day, Swagger Sway!  Oh, but control yourself now.  There are some steps you will need to follow.  

1.  Eat your breakfast.

2.  Throw away those underwear with the brown stains!  That was just an accident!

3.  Quit texting so much!  I want to hear your tones, smell your smells, see your sights, feel your life!

4.  Most of ALL:  Don't forget.  You live on a spinny ball.  Yourself is not that tall.  Your are part of a waterfall of movement!  You have a niche in this plan.  Its just a bit part, but it could make all the difference.  Is the narrative a little repetative?  Yes.  Could it be more strange?  No.  Don't worry, though, shake your tambourine to the beat!  You were given those pants, and you are irresistable in them, so don't hesistate to dance!